April, am I a Fool?

It was this day, 7 years ago, I stepped into the HR office to serve my 10-year bond. Teringat pulak adinda zaman dolu-dolu...

I was chosen in 1993 to be one of the scholarship recipients to continue my studies abroad. Off we (all 100 or so of us) were shipped to Kolej Bestari (#4, was it?) in UM for our obligatory 2-months English course. Then, for a 10-day Outward Bound School in Lumut and another 2 weeks of induction course in Taiping. Lucky, eh? Little did I know that this was where lifelong friends were made. We laughed, learnt, cried, camped, gossiped and grew together.

This was the basis of our close-knit support group for our studies (no matter where it was), our work life and now, our family life. At 18-years old, I already had my whole life charted for me. Study A-levels in the UK for 2 years, 3/4 years for my Degree/Masters in Engineering and back to my country to serve "The Company" for 10-years. It seemed like a sweet deal at the time. Damn lucky, I tell you..

I had a lot of fun while I was in Cobham doing my A-Levels. Went horseback riding, boating, camping, rock climbing, even went for an exchange program to the US of A for a month! Especially so with schoolmates like Che Nah, Lisa and Liza. We had loads of fun eating nasi sejuk with KFC brought all the way from Malaysia. The exeats were blissful as we got an apartment to ourselves right smack in the middle of London town! The midnight exploration to Trocadero, the new year celebrations, the makan feasts! All seemed to go as planned when I got my conditional acceptance of AAB into Corpus. Come the day for our results, I got just that! Was I relieved.. I just made it to Cambridge! Lucky, no?

Later, the results was changed to 3As due to my Chemistry teacher's complaint. hah hah *She is sooo sweet, even wrote me a card to remind me to tell my sponsor that I got better results!* I have to admit that I took it easy in Cambridge; went rowing in the morning, (well, not really.. I was the cox, so I kinda shouted more than anything else) going to classes, labs and tutorials, taking part in the Malaysian dances, pot lucks and such but all the time I was silently thinking when will my lucky streak run out. It was just kinda surreal to me.. Can't really explain it.. I even made plans to visit Lily in Australia to spend my summer there. But, as soon as I entered the exam hall, I knew I was not coming back the next year. Suddenly, it hit me. This is it! I'm gonna have to start fresh.

I was a fool. I know. Not many people got the opportunity that I did. Yet, I blew it! After crying my eyeballs out, I decided to face the consequences head on. The problem's not gonna go away just because you are hiding from it. Bounce back, girl.. You know you can do it.. So, I decided that I shall do exactly that! It was decided for me by the powers that be that I shall start my American Degree Program in PPP/ITM , Shah Alam. No credit transfers - just start again, my dear! I wasn't in the objecting mode, so I just kept it low and went to Shah Alam with my tails tucked neatly between my hiney. It so happens that I got to make more lifelong friends and one of them happens to be my soul-mate. *hah hah hah Nasib baik I kena balik Malaysia, kalau tak tak jumpa you, yang!*So, you see, things could not have turned out any better! There is always a silver lining in every storm, if you know where to look for it.

You see, there are many events in my life that I can truly bitch about.

YES, even now..

and NO, my life is NOT a bed of roses, unlike what some people might think.

Just because I don't whine, it does NOT mean that I do not have problems. I believe that everyone gets their fair share of shit. Me, included. I do, however, try to search for the lessons to be learnt, the positive side of things, the goodness in people.. Some may call it being optimistic, some may call me a fool. Call me what you want, it's just my way, my choice to stay happy.

Be rid you negative people. Stay as far away from me! Shoo!

-dillz blogging out-