We Didn't Make It (This Time)

I was experiencing slight bleeding last weekend. It got me worried that we headed to the Emergency Dept in Pantai Hospital, KL. They reconfirmed my pregnancy with a urine test and proceeded to take a syringe-ful of blood for a Full Blood Count. They results came in as everything was normal. I was prescribed some hormones to stop the bleeding and was then to go for a check up with my gynea the next week.

Next week came and I had an appointment with Dr. Hamid Arshat this morning.I was shuffling my work schedule around, thinking that I could make it to the 11.30 meeting with an auditee and the one scheduled later at 2.30pm. All in good time.

Was I wrong.

As soon as we got the doctor up to speed with everything, he summoned me to the ultrasound room. He always started with some doa and that always calms me down. He was very matter of fact about it. Short and clean. Told me that "the uri dah pecah-pecah. The sac is also irregular in shape. I think we'll put you down for D&C this evening at 3.30pm".

Suddenly I realized how things may not be OK. Things can so easily go wrong. It was only after a few seconds that it actually dawned on me that I would be losing my baby. No one could hold back my tears then. It was just streaming down... I was just glad I did not have to go through that moment alone. That I had my husband beside me to keep me strong.

Dr Hamid said, "Walaupun kita bersedih, we have to remember that this may be the best for you and the baby." I knew that, but it was good to hear it out loud. I guess I was more taken aback by it all. I was expecting to go right back to work that same morning, so this D&c was definitely not part of the plan. It kinda throws everything back and your plan for the day, for the next two weeks down the drain. I guess I am still coming to terms with what went on in the consultation room. Plus the anxiety and not knowing what to expect in a D&C procedure.

Just let me have a moment to mourn for my loss, and Insya Allah I will be OK.

-dillz blogging out-

Ahlan Wa Sahlan Ya Ramadhan 1431

Ramadhan is here once again. Alhamdulillah.. :)

For the first terawikh, the Azrul clan (minus Miss Khadra) was at Masjid Wilayah. Penuhnya ya amaaaaattt, we literally parked in the middle of the road. Anyhow, Khaleeq went with his dad. Menurut kata report, he was OK. Just that he was reading "Subhana rabbiyal azimi wa bihamdih" really loudly for rukuk AND sujud. hihihihihi. Khaleeda came with me to the muslimat section. Boleh tahan behave jugak, the little makcik. She keeps herself busy whilst waiting for rukuk by looking around and walking around me. Whenever there were major movements, such as rukuk and sujud, she would follow suit. (Just that bila sujud, dia terlentang. hihihihihi. Will have to remember to correct her position later.)

From their track records, Khadra started fasting last year and managed to complete the whole month without fail. Khaleeq on the other hand, completed a commendable 29 days - itu pun sebab he didn't quite understand the concept the first day and was too tempted by the sizzles of fried chicken for lunch! Khaleeda has yet to start. Bagi chan lah itu makcik, she is only 2.5 years old after all. ;)

Of course, we had a little incentive scheme in place that was really really working last year - a DS Lite each, up front. :) At that point in time, a big reward was vital coz that was their first time fasting ever.

This year, we have not yet cemented any agreements with the two Khas. Just a little reminder here and there on how the fasting month is coming and one is not allowed to eat and drink from dusk to dawn. I thought Khadra did a good job explaining it clearly to Khaleeq.
Khadra: "It's when you can't have breakfast and lunch, Khaleeq"
Khaleeq: "You mean, I can only eat at night time?"
Hmm... Boleh la tu...

Anyways, to keep them motivated, our First Sahur was a little extravagant. Mandy rice from al-Rawsha, Jalan Damai for Inche @azrulx , me and Bibik Parmi AND KFC for the kids. (Though, Khaleeda had her mashed potato and original drum stick before she headed to bed that night) I thought we overdid it that time. Probably 2 mandy rice packs would have suffice. Waking up K1 and K2 was alright. The real challenge was really after they came back from school the next day.

At 12:30pm I got a call from Saufi and Khaleeq was crying and wailing on the other end.
"I am hungry mom! I am so thirsty. I am so sad coz I am hungry."
Hmm.. Macam mana nak buat ni?
Had to go into rescue mode right away. I told Saufi to pick me up from office and the coaxing, pujuking, pep talking, usap-mengusaping began. I was just cuddling him on our way home and he really looked beaten at that time. Keluarlah segala cerita kesian kat orang susah, at least you get to eat at night, you have done it before, you are a strong boy segala. Wah!! Tak jalan juga. Masih menangis. Still wailing his heart out.

In times like this, I had to bring out a toy that he really wanted from our secret stash. (Nasib baik dah prepare earlier) I took out Decepticon Lockdown and he immediately changed his demeanor. Tetiba jadi energetic, jumping up and down.
"Is that surprise for me? I love it!"
I told him that this toy could could be his if he fulfill his fast that day. Nampak semangat semacam je. Tetiba, OK pulak. Things were finally looking up! :)

The toy did help him feel distracted for a while. Alhamdulillah, he completed the fasting yesterday, but not without more complains. One thing for sure, I really needed to keep on reassuring him time and time again. He needs to do other stuff so that he gets distracted and not focus on the hunger and thirst. Come on, boy.. You can do this. I foresee these 3 days to be a little tough. Transition time. After he gets through this few days, Insya Allah.. He could do it on his own for the coming days. On top of that, ada pulak distraction from Lil Miss Deyda. Boleh minah tu minum air sejuk depan abang dia, siap panggil nama Khaleeq lagi. Ish.Ish.Ish.

Second day - same story. Sahur was OK. The drama really started after school was over. Extra challenge today coz Khaleeq had his gym session today and not allowed to drink. So, as expected, the call came sometime around 12:40pm, he was asking for permission to drink coz he was thirsty. I asked Saufi to pick me up so that I could talk some sense into the boy on our ride home. Rupa-rupanya budak bertuah tu already took a bite off a biscuit he found in his bag. Bukan banyak pun, just one tiny bite.
His justification:
"It's not my fault, mom. My belly button is controlling me."
Adoiaiii, Khaleeq.

Nak gelak pun ada.
Anyhoots, I took away Lockdown for the day. Told him he could get it back once he fulfills a day of fasting. And the next 7 consecutive fasting days, he can get another toy.
He kept apologizing and saying that he'll try to do better tomorrow.
Takpe lah , Khaleeq. Esok kita try lagi..

Khadra on the other hand is not complaining walaupun nampak penat dan letih. Good job, Kakak! Onto day TWO! :)

-dillz blogging out-

Action Song Goes to Singapore

I know it's been a while. Sorry, sorry... before I forget, here's the piece on Khadra's adventure to the City of Lion. :)

***

The action song team would be performing their 1Rhythm, 1 Malaysia routine in a few primary schools in Singapore in conjunction with the Racial Harmony week over there. It was Khadra's first time on a sleep-over school trip anywhere, so obviously Ibu had to follow her 3-day adventure. :)

We started bright and early at the school compound. Ticking checklists and making sure everyone that was supposed to be there was there and everything that was supposed to be onboard the bus had been brought there. There were a few daddies who stayed on to see their precious princess(es) off. Maklumlah, kanak-kanak Tahap Satu, ya tuan-tuan dan puan-puan. :) Nasi lemak breakfast filled our tummies and after a few photo shots, we were ready to leave Kuala Lumpur.

Seronok juga naik bas ramai-ramai ni. I really thought the girls enjoyed themselves. Of course, we were aptly prepared: snacks, drinks, books, mp3 players and Zoobies onboard!

Our temporary abode was the Fernloft Little India Hostel. It was a budget backpacker hostel going like SD16 per head per night which suited well into our budget. :) Eventhough it was a budget hostel, the reception area was air-conditioned with 3 PCs offering free use of internet. There was an elevator and every room was air-conditioned. The toilets/shower room were really clean with hot water supply. Best thing was, we got the whole 2nd floor to ourselves - a 20-bedded dorm, a 5-bedded room and a 6-bedded room. So, it was really convenient for us to get the girls ready in the mornings. Most were double-decker beds anyway and the girls had a fun time trying out the bunk bed and having a sleepover of sorts with 10 of their friends. :) Lights off was at 10.30, but the moms were up late chit-chatting still.

The other plus point was we were within walking distance to Mustaffa. Suffice to say that night we were spending a lot of time at the neighbourhood malls! :) (I got me 2 Charles and Keith shoes that were going at 70% off! hihihi)

The next day, we got the girls ready for their first school visit at Teluk Kurau Primary School. OK. I was so impressed with this school! Period. The principal is such a sweetheart. Just take a look at the school's operating principles. Don't you just love "Catch them doing right" ? Catch them, when they do the right things - such emphasis on positive reinforcements! :) I loike!

The infrastructure is to die for. They have a Heritage Gallery that showcased their history and their famous alumnus. We also found out that Allahyarham Tun Hussein Onn went to the school while he was young, so we got Raina, Tun's great grandchild, to pose with an exhibit that was his - his Report card. So sweet, kan? I especially LOVE the library. So conducive for reading. They had walls of Jungle Book murals and even a pillar disguised as a tree. There was a space that was wood laminated for chilling area, complete with throw cushions and a stage for story-telling. Just heaven! :) I noticed that their stairs are wider too, with the multiplication table painted on the steps. The quadrangle where kids play during their recess was huge, with 4 hopscotch rings, a garden at the sides and and a rock-climbing wall to boot! *seriously*

After their performance, we made a quick stop at the Merlion in Marina Bay. Photo opp!!! Imagine 18 kids all dressed up in their 1Malaysia costume appearing at a tourist spot. The other Japanese and Korean tourists were busy snapping their pictures instead. It was so darn hot, I tell you. We just took a few pictures in front of the Merlion and quickly dashed back to the bus.

Changed their clothes in the bus and we were set for an educational session - next stop: Science Centre. They had fun goofing around while learning a principle or two. Truthfully speaking though, I think the mommies had a bit more fun than the kids. Especially when we invaded the souvenir shop. hihihihihi

We then went to the Snow City which was in the same compound as the Science Centre. Getting the right getup was a challenge - the jacket, the pants, the boots and the gloves. No cameras were allowed in the snow area, so we had to rely on the professional photographers there. In any case, the kids were having so much fun taboganning down the snow slope! One by one or in groups of fours! It was really fun! A dozen times later, they were about to call it quits , but not before some photo taking in the snow. After, we had some hot chocolate and hot bowl of noodle. Yumms. Just the right combo after freezing in the snow.

In the night time, we took the opportunity to visit the Night Safari. We just made it to the last "Creatures of the Night" show where the nocturnal animals took centre stage. After the tram ride around the Safari, it was time to call it a night. Sleepy time before visiting two more schools on the next day..

First up was Nan Chiau Primary School. The key take away from this school was how they incorporated ICT into their daily activities. It was really wonderful seeing that Primary 1 and 2 kids are utilizing the iPod Touch for some creative learning. :) The elder kids use the Android as well as notebooks for school work. I was also particularly impressed with their Lab of the Future. 3 screens that is able to project different items and the dynamics of the detachable desks and chair which is able to be arranged into different class layout. (They also have bean bags in there. *serious*)

Last school we visited was Rulang Primary School. The staff were waiting for us to show the different instruments from the three major ethnicity of Singapore. They had the teachers stationed at every booth, waiting to explain and let the children experience the classical instruments themselves. How very, very sweet. :) They kids made their final performance and was treated to lunch later.

All in all, I really think it was a very good exposure for the children (and adults alike). There is so much positive takeaways from the trip. I am so glad we had the opportunity to be part of it. :)

-dillz blogging out-