Next week came and I had an appointment with Dr. Hamid Arshat this morning.I was shuffling my work schedule around, thinking that I could make it to the 11.30 meeting with an auditee and the one scheduled later at 2.30pm. All in good time.
Was I wrong.
As soon as we got the doctor up to speed with everything, he summoned me to the ultrasound room. He always started with some doa and that always calms me down. He was very matter of fact about it. Short and clean. Told me that "the uri dah pecah-pecah. The sac is also irregular in shape. I think we'll put you down for D&C this evening at 3.30pm".
Suddenly I realized how things may not be OK. Things can so easily go wrong. It was only after a few seconds that it actually dawned on me that I would be losing my baby. No one could hold back my tears then. It was just streaming down... I was just glad I did not have to go through that moment alone. That I had my husband beside me to keep me strong.
Dr Hamid said, "Walaupun kita bersedih, we have to remember that this may be the best for you and the baby." I knew that, but it was good to hear it out loud. I guess I was more taken aback by it all. I was expecting to go right back to work that same morning, so this D&c was definitely not part of the plan. It kinda throws everything back and your plan for the day, for the next two weeks down the drain. I guess I am still coming to terms with what went on in the consultation room. Plus the anxiety and not knowing what to expect in a D&C procedure.
Just let me have a moment to mourn for my loss, and Insya Allah I will be OK.
-dillz blogging out-